Lucky Family

The tune on my new phone is so nice that I rarely answer it now. Love to hear it playing and don't want to stop it by taking calls.One of the few calls I answered was from a friend who said her husband was very manipulative. Luckily enough he is a chiropractor. Later the husband rang to say his wife is very moody but luckily she is always in a good mood. Aren't they a lucky family?

Falling On Your Sword

Down here in the bogs of Kilganey we heard a story of how an argument broke out in a pub in Dublin between two men, one armed with a sword and one who had a hammer. Being the clean living sort we do not frequent pubs but, when on the odd occasion we have, we have never seen anyone yet with a sword or indeed a hammer, barring the odd carpenter on a Monday morning seeking a cure. Of course we only went in to use the toilet since there is a lack of loos in Clonmel.

We puzzled over this idea of taking the hammer and sword to the pub. Would it be "Mick, are ya going for a pint? Hould on a minute till I get me hammer, have you got your sword? Ok we'll call a taxi. Yes a taxi for two to the Bog Bar, do you have a sword friendly cab, is there an extra charge for the sword? No? Ok then"

On arrival would you see a sign that said 'neat swords essential' or 'cloakroom -jackets 2 euro, swords 1 euro. If you opted to keep the sword with you where would you put it? "Excuse me sir could you move your sword till I clean the bartop" or "is there some sword on this seat". At least the hammer would fit in your pocket so long as it was not a summers evening when you were dressed only in T shirt, when you might have to hang it by the claw off the barstool.

On the way home you could get a takeaway of swordfish and chips....

Medical Mishap

We had to attend the doctor recently and discovered there were two trainee doctors who were sitting in on consultations. When asked if we objected to this -since the patient must give be asked for and give permission- we said we would be available to help train doctors for 50 euro from each aspiring medic. Sadly our offer was not taken up. We despair for the future of medicine as we feel we have a lot to teach....